The Double Life of Bill Atkinson

Bill Atkinson, the visionary Apple engineer behind much of the original Macintosh, passed away on June 5, 2025, at age 74, from pancreatic cancer—the same illness that claimed his friend Steve Jobs. Obituaries across the tech world honoured his pioneering role in personal computing. At Apple, he developed QuickDraw, the graphics engine behind the Mac’s interface; invented MacPaint, the first widely adopted digital drawing tool; and created HyperCard, the groundbreaking software that anticipated the interactive, hyperlinked structure of today’s web.

Yet within OneLight, a private psychedelic community, a different legacy quietly unfolded. Members of OneLight knew Bill Atkinson by his pseudonym, “Grace Within.” He was a joyful, generous presence who spent his final years refining and openly sharing the technology behind the LightWand, a vape pen for administering the psychedelic Jaguar (5-MeO-DMT).

“Of all the things I’ve accomplished, nothing surpasses the need to carefully and thoroughly share Jaguar with the world.” — Bill Atkinson

Bill’s dual life as Grace Within remained hidden among a tight-knit circle. Now, honouring his final instructions, we at The Pattern Project can now share how he helped unlock and inspire the next generation of psychedelic innovation.

The Jaguar: 5-MeO-DMT

Jaguar—the underground term for the powerful psychedelic 5-MeO-DMT—is best known for rapidly dissolving the ego and delivering an overwhelming sense of unity, awe, or transcendence. Before the advent of the LightWand vape pen, smoking large consciousness-expanding doses was the norm. In these brief but intense sessions, some described sudden encounters with the sacred, moments of unexpected relief from childhood wounds, or a depth of awareness comparable to advanced meditation—all unfolding within just a few powerful minutes.

But these high-dose experiences also carry real risks: too much, without proper support, or use by those with specific health conditions can lead to psychological distress or lasting trauma. Still, more than 10 active or completed clinical trials are exploring 5-MeO-DMT’s therapeutic potential for treating addiction, depression, and other conditions.

From Macintosh to the Mystical

In 2018, Bill Atkinson first encountered the LightWand vape pen at a ceremony hosted by Majus OneLight (pseudonym)—a pioneer in using 5-MeO-DMT for healing, and inventor of the first LightWand. Majus vividly recalls Bill’s reaction:

“Jaguar resonated deeply with Bill’s lifelong quest to understand consciousness. From neuroscience studies to Mac interface design to nature photography, he was always mapping the deeper patterns. Jaguar didn’t flip his world upside-down—it confirmed what he’d quietly sensed for decades.”

Though Bill initially worried that the LightWand’s ease of use might cheapen the sacred intensity of the Jaguar experience, he quickly came to appreciate how its design allowed users to gently navigate Jaguar’s potency through careful, diluted doses. For Bill, this meant safer, more mindful journeys.

How to Build a LightWand

Eventually, Bill’s initial concerns about sharing the LightWand were eclipsed by his belief that its benefits far outweighed the risks. So, in early 2021, Jaguar (5-MeO-DMT) Vape Pens: How They Are Made by Grace Within, was published on Erowid.org. There he wrote: “My intention with this article is to assist people in having safe, beautiful, and healing experiences with this amazing medicine.” His open-source approach democratized psychedelic exploration, shifting power away from costly retreats and elite gatekeepers toward broader accessibility.

Bill didn’t stop there—he personally gifted over 1,000 LightWand sets and patiently mentored other creators on OneLight. With an engineer’s precision, he documented how variations in vape pen hardware and liquid carriers affected 5-MeO-DMT vaporization and dosage. Using himself as the test subject, he tracked blood pressure, EEG data, and other physiological signals.

“Without Bill’s open-source tek, LightWand vape pens might still be limited to expensive retreats and exclusive circles of psychedelic elites,” says Majus.

How LightWands Sparked a Movement

Bill didn’t just open-source a new psychedelic technology—he helped empower a new generation of innovators and therapists. They saw the LightWand’s potential for low doses: to encourage insight, healing, and balance, without the high costs and exhaustion of marathon psychedelic sessions. We at The Pattern Project see this low-dose approach as one of the most research-worthy paths for making psychedelic therapy both safer and more practical at scale.

Bill’s genius lay in transforming complex innovations—from computers to psychedelics—into intuitive, accessible tools. The LightWand continues this radical legacy, empowering more people—not just seasoned psychonauts or spiritual elites—to connect with emotion, memory, and meaning.

Carrying the Light Forward

Your support—whether by sharing this article or becoming a Pattern Project paid subscriber—continues Bill’s mission. It powers our volunteer team’s work to research and share stories that promote safe, responsible exploration of Low-5 (low-dose 5-MeO-DMT).